Ok, so I have not written a lot and I think it is a shame because the name of this blog is pretty awesome, but the thing is that I actually have to put a lot of effort in writing things that are sort of intellectual and that has something to do with the world in general. You can say that I am aiming for some kind of social perspective or whatever. Individual – society and vice versa. Anyhow I am thinking about starting an own fittness blog since my friend gave me the suggestion. Work out quite a lot. Prob gonna write it in Swedish unless I get complaints about that. We will see… If you have complaints… tell me…
Author Archives:
Just a basic human feature
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com
It is interesting how many different coping strategies people have to handle their emotions and thoughts. Sometimes it would be nice to try another persons perspective. I have a chaos side and a structured, logical side – they are hard to integrate. I can laugh at it, make jokes about it and see the value of it and I even found a song about it but I can also despise it and totally hate it. Many times I want to beat the shit out of Chaos and the confusion about the two sides, while I am making an effort to remind myself that I am (not perfect=) human=bloody OK and good!
Perfectness is worhless
It is interesting to start feeling real again – like the teenage rebel is coming back with all her creativity and willingness to reach out. Just wonder if it is possible to handle the world and be so emotionally open. Shut off – that works well… To analyze every situation, be diplomatic, melt into the conformity, adapt. Time to re-evaluate and remember why perfectness is worthless.
Thoughts about making a difference
Listening to a debate on TV. Thinking “yes I’ve heard that before, mhm, same thing” as I recall another time in my life. Hopeful, engaged youth. Belief… I was the 4-year old who wanted to solve the world starvation by growing bananas on the mountain at home, the 9-year old who wrote a 1 meter letter to the local politicians protesting against their decision to cram even more pupils into our school, the 12-year old debuting activist who put her soul into animal welfare, environmental issues and human rights screaming her throat sore for the cause. My family use to joke about that if you see a protest march you can be sure to find her there. I felt like it was my duty to do something.
For many, it seems like the feeling of powerlessness grows with age and the human spirit is easily suppressed by the inertia and conformity of society. I have heard relatives and others say “I do not have the energy to care, I have enough taking care of my own life”. The 12-year old activist would strangle me now if she knew that her older self is uttering exactly the same words. To not be heard, to not receive response is the best way of killing human spirit.
With that comes passivity and “whats-the-point-bitterness”. Maybe, the villian is not only the feeling of nothing happening but also the realization of the complexity of things.The human likes simple solutions and overwhelming difficult tasks takes our endurance level down to the bottom. However, there are people who keep their spirits up, who does not give into the conformity and that impresses and inspires me.
Recently I have felt something – hey have I started to care? The rebel sometimes wakes up and says “hey, what happened?”.
The grass is always greener on the other side – Guilty until proven innocent
We all have our thoughts about not being good enough, about no one caring, about the time race. And even though many of us can see the obvious opposite facts around us, with our common sense kickin the shit out of our less smart side, it seems to be so hard-wired into our brains that somewhere “over there” in “that person’s life” there seems to be the perfect subsistence.
Confined in our social beauty industry we keep running, sometimes pushing aside our core, feeling a little bit better because we, at least for some time, are living up to the external demands that are being pumped into our veins. And when we finally get under someone’s skin, we receive at least one proof for that we are not alone. That the outer world is not as perfect as we believe it to be. But the running somehow continues and we have to investigate further because the imperfectness has to be beyond a reasonable doubt – Guilty until proven innocent.
Like this:
The perfect citizen
Open but too closed and never good enough
And the pen lies on the shelf because I will shut up, that is what is best!
While the simmering geyser becomes wrapped in my songs with 10 000 projects under the veil of restlessness
I am damn hot, sexy, I got big boobs and soon I may be rich
I want to be rich
I go to the gym 4 times a week, eat healthy food, read sophisticated books, study and clean my apartment, you can lick the floor
the sink is like a mirror
But do not ask me about anything else
What is it that you want to see?
And here it was again
That despicable humanity
How do you disclaim your humanity?
If anyone could tell me please let know
What do we miss?
Do we miss?
Or do we miss because we miss
I go to the gym 4 times a week, eat healthy food, read sophisticated books, study and clean my apartment
That is what I love about me
I love me!
And you…
Who do you love…?
Do I notice you out there?
But dont ask me about anything else
That despicable humanity
Repudiated until it’s loved
Haha! Sure, never..!
So if you’ll excuse me i’ll put question mark in my bag again, say shit happens, i’ll see you later
have to clean my apartment…
Random hugging military attention
So here I am with my second cup of coffee, being frighteningly soft and cheesy, totally wearing out Cat Steven’s Heaven. Moving in January to an apartment (box) that is the same size as the one I have now. Not an upgrade exactly but they say that that is not important, although it kinda is. Chaos does not like packing boxes and just wanna hide under the covers and hug someone for the rest of the day. Feeling so loving that I scare the shit out of myself while Order creates images of a General shouting out “FALL IN! Get yourself together!”.
So what is important? And apparently I cannot give your any answers because I am answering questions with questions. Unperfect and proud! So you need a good environment to relax in, but you should not put status and self-value in lifeless stuff. Friends are the most important (like you have never heard that one before….) but social things often demands somewhere to be and I do not know what I am talking about now… Welcome to my random brain! Have loads of loose threads, but I guess I should summarize what I do in my search for the meaning of life. Several things pops up that I want to write about.
A lecture from a person doing the kinda crazy things that I want to – positive thinking and all that
The philosophizing about fitness training – good or bad
You know what, I will just stop here, because I cannot get anything reasonable out of this post. But I guess that is kinda the beauty of it – it is just human…
FALL IN!
Pack the boxes! EXECUTE!
Judgement day and dreams sprinkled with high ambitions
Good morning, 7.00 am. No retouch. Cheers!
Woke up from a “judgement day-dream” – just like a film where the world had 2 hours left to live and no one had told us anything about it (wonder if they would in the reality). Met up with friends, family and so on (there where robots in it, wonder where they came from but do not think they had anything to do with it). Had to say goodbye to everybody, wondering how I would have time to do that.
When I finally had woken up enough for the relieving “not-real-sigh”, still slumbering I started to think of the expression “live every day as if it is your last” which you hear from people who has had a life-changing experience. Thought, OK sounds good to me, very right, but how? I know one thing and that is that I prob would not sit with my face glued to Facebook or the computer. So I should stop with that then? “like every day is your last”….hmm, then i would go away from this country with just some food, take every person i know with me and try to finish my bucket-list.
Everything at once, please! But it does not work that way does it? I would write in this blog everyday, but has not that been ages since? Answer; yes. Maybe it was my brain’s way to tell me, yes the world is unfair, successful people in your age earn 4 times more than your do, they have a steady job (i wanna win the lottery), and no stand-in, they might even have their own business and you are not anywhere near that – get your arse up (i am not over 25)!
Have not been very inspired lately and the world IS bloody unfair, I want to be there too (Jante, not good enough – eh?)! The industrialized country problem of yesterday: which new calendar to choose and shit, found 10 things more to do when I swapped to the new calendar. People are starving, stop complaining and be positive and happy, see what you already have, but do not be satisfied, aim for your dreams – bloody hell which one is it?!
A good summary from a friend: “What is is that you don’t want to do?” My answer: “Eat snails”.
PS. My tea is now cold, reminder: stop thinking, chop more wood, make more tea DS.
. A love-hate relationship, but I guess we all sort of have. Even funnier for those who are familiar with the World of Darkness. XD. And ya one of the is a rabbit… damn there was my bad sense of humor popping out again.
Acetylene, anchors and getting rich(?)
Image via Wikipedia
Related Posts
So what do you wanna do when you grow up (whatever that term means)? Waiting hopefully for an answer to my job applications, drinking too much coffee and looking at the rain outside while I am worried that I will get totally bored of the usual 9-5 job (yes i will). Restless? No, never… Is there any job where you wont be stuck in the same place for more than one month? Now, I want it now! No, bad Chaos, be nice, have patience… Yeah right, patience…
Feck it, lets become rich instead – but then I need to finish those reports and… drink coffee, again, with A. Social marathons does not make you rich or do they? Now I can be all philosophical, looking like a bohemian with a huge beard (still working on the beard) and a crack pipe and say yees, they do! But c’mon, can I get my head down to the ground please. Maybe bohemia is good though, I do not know. The interesting paradox is that you should “aim for the stars” (ok, the world’s worst cliché but give me some acetylene then it might work) and be happy with what you have. Is it possible to the same things at one time? My tip is to wish for acetylene and an anchor for christmas. Then you might have a chance. I want to be a good girl! Wizzy jibberish.
At least I look darn good today (yes, I have nice boobs but you will not get to see them)!!
